It's not my photo and I unfortunately do not know its author. But I really like it. Source - Internet.
Since I am 26 now, I think it's the high time to start doing something valuable in my life. People say that it's never too late for changes and I agree, but I can't get rid of this feeling that I am already too old to try something totally new. I mean something which help me understand who I want to be in life. I still do not know. I finished university two years ago and I feel like I don't know anything. I can't do anything and the only thing people see in me so far is that I can be a good waitress. Not a good journalist, not an office worker, not a person who can be valuable in good, not retail-related company. How cruel is it? Of course, I do not want to blame anyone except me for this situation, but sometimes I have this feeling that I will be waiting for my "chance" forever. Everyone wants skilled, experienced person, but how can I gain experience when no one wants to open door for me first? Without these possibilities I can not even try and check whether I want to do this or that in my life. So now I am trying to figure out me, doing things on my own. Because I have been unemployed since 17th March I have a lot of time to think about life. Of course I've been looking for a job, but in two weeks I am going to make one of my dreams come true, so I concentrate on it and live from my savings.
Having this spare time I've decided to take up some activities I used to put away for ages. I've already finished some books - one of them is a great reportage about North Korea by Barbara Demick, I've started writing more here and finally - I've started running and learning French. Since I remember I've always hated running. Oh my... this feeling when you have to hurry up, because you woke up/went out late and a bus is not going to wait for you... Or your PE teacher who always wanted to humiliate you and derived undisguised satisfaction giving you another 'E' mark despite your hard efforts. Running was never linked with something pleasant, that's why I avoided it for so much time. Nowadays it is really popular - almost everyone I know runs, at least from time to time and one of my friends participates in marathons with great success. I must admit that I admire all these people and I simply wanted to join them. I thought 'Come on, it can't be that hard, all you have to do is put your joggings and trainers on and go outside!". So I went on Tuesday and it turned out to be very hard. After 700 m I was dying. Yes, 26-year-old person is dying because of a short run. What a shame. But I am not going to give up. Today I run 1,5 km. Small step, but I can't wait for a moment when I feel that running is a pure pleasure for me.
I am also trying to pick up some French vocabulary. I've always wanted to learn this language, but I had only one option in school - German. I don't like German and I've already forgotten a lot of it, but I find it easier to learn than French. French pronunciation is difficult, but I am going to practice as much as I can. I downloaded some application for my phone, I also installed a basic course on my computer, so maybe I will be able to speak a little on my next trip to Paris this August. It would be great :) Fingers crossed for my motivation.
